This morning before I went to class, I brought out the aeroplane models that I bought when I was in Miniatur Museum, Hamburg. As I assembled them, I remembered an old conversation that I had with my uncle when he brought me and his daughter to watch the departure of flights in KLIA (Kuala Lumpur International Airport). I was a very little girl back then but I was still tall though.
I want to become a steward when I grow up! They are beautiful, tall and kind.
Yeah you can. You are going to be tall enough to a become steward.. But the salary of the aircraft maintenance engineer is higher than steward you know.
Really?! Then I am going to become an aircraft engineer! Because I will get more money...
But still, stewardess are beautiful...
Actually if you become a pilot, you will get more money. You will fly and navigate aircraft.
Okay.. I'll become a pilot.
Now as I thought about it, children, they always change their dreams and ambitions according to what they think are the best. They are easily affected by their surroundings.
Well yeah.. I don't have a child. I just speak in a view of a teenage who was once child.
I also remembered another old story when I was in GMi (German Malaysian Institute).
My friends and I, we were at the night market. (Jalan Reko to be exact.) Then we passed by a so called toy stall or something like that. And there were a lot of airbus models. Then few of my friends said;
Why don't we buy this? And make it as a motivator to boost our spirit to get good grades in A-level.
To be honest I was afraid. There were times when I thought I would not make it to Germany even how hard I tried. So I don't buy the airbus model even though I really wanted to have it. I just don't want to give myself hope. Because again.. I was afraid I might hurt myself. What I had is only a piece of paper that we got during our Orientation Week that I folded to become an origami aeroplane that I sticked to my soft board in front of my study desk. On this origami aeroplane I wrote Germany and drew an Audi symbol. My motivator...
I was just an ordinary girl and I am still an only ordinary girl. I'm neither someone who is good in language like my Mom nor a great Mathematician like my Dad. I just can't really find what is my real talent.
Should I become a writer? Okay forget about it. I'm studying engineering anyway. ;) But not aviation.
I felt lucky actually for the fact that the day had came when I boarded on the Airbus to go to the place where I would make my dreams come true. I am no longer the one who sent people away as I am the one who is going away.
Friends of my age. Some of them they might think I'm lucky. They might think it's great. They might think I gonna have a real new life. Open minded. Stylish. Dandy. Heaven! You name it.
Well I admit it. It's great to go to a new country and learn how to be more independent. But besides that, I still struggle to speak more fluently and to understand the language here better. Hopefully one day I'll manage to become like a native speaker.
Everyday when I wake up, I pray to God that hopefully today is a better day. As I wear my shoes I tell myself this shoes will bring me to a better place. As I open my door I tell myself people who saw me yesterday will see a better me today. As I walk to University I tell myself this ordinary girl is on her way to become a better person than who she was. That's how I live my life. And Alhamdulillah I am totally grateful and happy with it.
Lastly to those who are catching their dreams, don't always compare yourself with people. The one who you should compare yourself with is who you was yesterday. There's no need to envy anyone else as you don't know what they had gone through to be where they are.
'Greatness has to be earned the hard way.'
P/s: Actually as I assembled these models, I thought a lot of MH370. Let us all pray for the best. Amin
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